DAY 5 with #knittogetherbyadoption is “ANTICIPATE”… I’m all about being authentic, so I’m not going to pretend that the wait is just full of roses and rainbows and swirly art lattes. The anticipation of waiting to meet Oliver is downright hard, sucky, lame, and heartbreaking…yet sanctifying, humbling, and full of glory at the same time. I feel like I can’t read Romans 8 enough right now. The wait till you find out who your son or daughter is, is tough. But KNOWING who your son is, and having a face to that name, and then waiting some more is heart wrenching. Seeing pictures and videos of Oliver has wrecked me. I love him so deeply. Here’s the thing, everyday that goes by, is another day spent apart, another day that I missed out on with my son, I do life here, and he does life in Uganda. And all of this is time that can’t be made up or done over. It’s gone. He gets bigger and I don’t get to watch him grow, he spends time in the hospital and I don’t get to be the one to hold him tight when he cries or sing him to sleep. I grieve over the 5 months that I didn’t get to spend raising my little boy. And while I can sit here and throw myself a little pity party with chocolate chip cookies and lots of ice cream, The Lord reminds me what it means to suffer for the sake of the gospel. When my mind shifts from thoughts of the flesh to thinking kingdom-minded, everything changes. It’s in that shift that I surrender all my expectations. Because in that suffering, we become more like Christ. The Bible says that when we suffer with Him, we are GLORIFIED with him! My hope is in Christ and the future glory that is coming (and you better believe that glory it’s coming with a big bowl of ice cream)! The glory that is coming is my great ANTICIPATION! What a joy to know that the glory God will reveal to us will far outweigh our present suffering. Thank you Jesus for that promise and that we don’t have to suffer alone, and you long for Oliver to be in a family even more than I humanly ever can wish for. I trust that God’s plan is perfect and divine and I long to see Christ made known through it.
.jpg)
